1. You don't stress about teaching them things like how to tie their shoes or ride a two wheeler.
2. You can dress her however you want. No arguments about oversexed clothes, inevitably escalating to age appropriate discussions regarding our cultures expectation and the subsequent unfairness of female modesty.
3. You don't have to worry if they'll choose the right friends to hang out with or not.
4. Sibling rivalry with your other kids? She's above all that.
5. Tired of spending money on Polly Pockets only to vacuum them all up? No worries there.
6. Debates and/or negotiations over curfew? Nah, she loves being at home just as much as you do.
7. No need to buy a shotgun to scare her first date.
8. You know those awkward years when all you want to do is give your kid a hug but know if you do you'll risk them yelling, "MOOOOM!!!" only to feel ostracized by them in the days that follow? Yeah, she's all for parental hugs.
9. No sitting around the kitchen table, looking over their shoulder, struggling to understand how to help them with their homework without admitting that they may just be smarter than you.
10. No goodbyes.
My oldest daughter will be eighteen in just over six months. She has always been independent and stubborn which, if I'll be completely honest, she inherited from her mother. Lately I've been thinking back to every choice I made with her; curfews, friends, dating, school and the like. Was it the right choice? Should I have done things differently? What about in this situation or that? The stress of having a child who will soon have the choice to leave home I want to say is probably one of the worst kinds of stress you can have as a parent.
Aside from a few months here and there, I ultimately left home when I turned sixteen. I never had that official "goodbye" moment with my own parents until they retired a few years later. I was a single mom of this soon-to-be eighteen-year-old-of-mine-newborn, I was self-sufficient, and had my own apartment. I grew up very quick and had multiple rude awakenings that I never want my own children to experience. But I think ultimately I, along with any other parents reading this who may soon find themselves in the same position, need to take comfort in that you did the best you could in any given situation at that time. If that doesn't bring you peace, then just reach for the nearest batch of brownies.
Yes having a perpetual child for the rest of your life hinders any plans of extended backpacking and trips to Europe, but she's yours forever; stuck in the most literal version of Neverland that I could ever think of.
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